Friday, July 15, 2011

Ex has stopped communication...does this mean he's done?

My ex fiancee and I were together for six years and we have a ten month old daughter together. About a week ago he came to me and he was tired of the fighting and said he didn't love me anymore and for two months he has been thinking about breaking up. He let me take our daughter out of our home and go out of state for a couple months bc I was too heart broken to be around him. I still deeply love him, he knows that, but still let us go. I asked him if he really thought this was the best decision and he said yes bc he doesn't want our daughter growing up in a dysfunctional house. So I left with my daughter on came to my parents house on Sunday, it's now Wednesday and since then we have had minimal contact on Sunday he texted me telling me he had an interview for a job we had been waiting on forever for him to get and then never followed up. Monday I texted him but he didn't respond so I called him and he did respond and we talked for a bit about our daughter but nothing about us. Tuesday and today I have texted him a couple times but he won't respond.....I asked him if I should just move on forget about us and he won't respond. I know he is getting my texts bc he is still talking to his mom, but I am starting to become heartbroken. Our break up came up around the same time he was texting this woman a lot. I asked him to stop but he said it was nothing and I didn't need to worry about it. Since we left before I made it where I can't see who is he talking to he is still texting that woman constantly. I took him off my account so I wouldn't obsess. I said I would give him space bc before I left I asked him after a couple months if we could reconcile and he kept saying he didn't know, wasn't sure of what the future held and he wasn't making any promises. To not talk to him for a day is killing me, and his lack of response hurts even more. We had discussed with our break up to continue talking even if it doesn't involve savannah and suddenly he won't respond. My question is why he is not responding, could he have moved on already with this woman or is his lack of response bc he is doing no contact to try and move on? I talked to his mom and she said since the split he has called a couple times crying about it, but I dont know if it's only over our daughter or also me. She said after I left he called her crying to the point where he couldn't understand him. I am confused bc he made it seem like this was the end, that we would no longer be together and that we could still be good parents to our daughter separately. My heart is broken bc I do love him and want my family back, but this no contact is making me way insecure and that girl he is texting isn't helping either.....I just want him to tell me he's done....whether it's through text or a phone call but he won't. Part of me tells me I just need to give him space and let him think this through but it kills me that he can't see his daughter everyday. So, should I give him space, be available to him when he's ready or should I move on? We have broken up before and within a month and a half we missed each other and got back together. The only reason I haven't bothered him more is bc this break up I am not turning to alcohol to stop the pain, I am being sober and focusing on our daughter. It's just after six years and a child I can't believe he would just stop all communication, I mean he made sure we got here okay, but I miss him and honestly don't want to spend a couple months apart and realize then he doesn't want it to work? What do you guys think?

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